Of Butterflies And Bumblebees
by Ice Lioness
Summary: ON HIATUS SoubiRitsuka - Soubi watches as Ritsuka slowly begins to change from a delicate boy, to a cold blooded man and wonders how best to bring back the boy he fell in love with.
1. Chapter 1: Change

Of Butterflies And Bumblebees  
Chapter 1: Change  
By Ice Lioness  
Loveless Fan Fiction  
Rating: R (sexual situations)  
Status: Chapter 1 of ?? Posted  
Couple: Soubi x Ritsuka  
Summary: Soubi watches as Ritsuka slowly begins to change from a delicate boy, to a cold blood man and wonders how best to bring back the Ritsuka he fell in love with.  
Started: Monday, July 16, 2007 - 00:39  
Finished: Monday, July 16, 2007 - 02:19  
Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless nor any of its characters. Loveless is property of Tokyopop and Yun Kouga.  
(Authors Note)  
Ice Lioness: Okay, so after reading some Loveless manga, I have decided to write some Loveless Fan Fiction.  
Ritsuka: Rated R...? Meow? Blink, blink. Am I gonna lose my ears?!  
Ice Lioness: Hehe, what would give you that idea?  
Ritsuka: Points up. That!  
Soubi: Calm down now Ritsuka. It wont be all that bad.  
Ritsuka: Nani?!  
Ice Lioness: Ahem. Okay, calm down. All right, so this is the first time I've ever written yaoi but I think I've read enough to know how to write at least a decent story. So, I ask that you only bear with me in the beginning. If it starts out bad, I promise it'll get better.  
Soubi: Great. On with the story. Lets earn that rating.  
Ritsuka: Soubi!

Of Butterflies And Bumblebees - Chapter 1: Change  
"The only truth we could really know, is that everything will change." - Nava, Balto 2: Wolf Quest

I chanced a short glance in the direction of the young boy, only to see a pair of ears twitching in annoyance, most likely aware of my gaze. Ever since he found out Seimei could possibly be alive, he hasn't spoken to me. That was two weeks ago, now, I sit on the floor before his bed, waiting to be acknowledged. Waiting to be ordered.

I have begun to feel like I'm dealing with a younger Seimei. Ritsuka has been ignoring me, speaking to me only if it was absolutely necessary, namely, to tell me to leave him alone every time I try to kiss him. Sometimes even telling me to shut up when I tell him 'I love you'.

I watch his tail sway lazily from side to side, the annoying twitch it gives every five minutes is the only sign of his acknowledgement of me, and it isn't nearly enough.

When I see his chair move I immediately straighten up, hoping he's finally ready to open up to me, that he's ready to forgive me. However, that isn't the case. He merely readjusts himself, now sitting cross-legged in the large computer chair. His hand continues to scribble away on the paper on the desk, I believe he's working on his grammar. He was doing his math homework about an hour ago.

I stand with a sigh, staring at the back of his head, willing him to turn around and to see me, but... My prayer's aren't answered and he continues to ignore me. I decide it's best to give up for the night. There's always tomorrow, that's what I've been telling myself the last two weeks. I move across the room, using the window that he has told me on more than one occasion is not a door.

As I start down the street I turn back to stare at the open window, yet there is no sign of the cat-eared boy. Just the billowing of the curtains and the sound of his squeaky chair being pushed away from the desk. I turn back around and continue down the sidewalk. I never felt this neglected before, even when Seimei was my sacrifice. I had just come to accept that his door would never open for me. However, with Ritsuka... With Ritsuka it was different. It didn't feel right that he was so emotionless, so passive.

I can't help but miss the way he would stutter at my affections and flush every time I proclaimed my love to him. Now, he merely pushes me away, sending a chill through my body that even the coldest of winters could never accomplish. So lost I am in my thoughts I nearly miss my apartment. I walk to the door and slowly put the key into the keyhole. A quick turn releases the lock, allowing me to enter. As I close the door I look down at the object in my hand. A key. The root of Ritsuka's dislike towards me.

With a sigh I command my body to make the short trek to my room, where I proceed to free myself of the heavy coat I wore and the scarf that wound its way around my neck. I move into the bathroom, flicking on the light and moving to the small shower. Moving the shower curtain aside I turn the nozzle so it's facing the opposite side of the tub. I twist the knob and give it a rough pull, causing the water to gush out from the lower spout. I reach down and pull the tab, causing the water to redirect to the gentle spray at the top.

Giving the water time to heat up, I move back into my room and rid myself of the remainder of the clothing. With only my boxers left, I hang up my coat and scarf before tossing the rest into the laundry basket at the foot of the bed. Grabbing a clean towel from the cabinet above my bed, I return to the bathroom and drape it over the top bar. I check the temperature a moment, making a few adjustments with the knob, I climb in once it's to a suitable degree of heat.

I take a moment to let the warm spray beat against the muscles of my neck and back, releasing the built up tension of a day of school and patient waiting. My thoughts easily drifting back to the twelve year old catboy.

His trust in me took a serious nosedive when he spoke with Nagisa and Seven. I'm sure he's torn between their words and my own. I can only pray that he warms up to me in time. At least if he's angry with me, he usually has no problem expressing that. I'd much prefer him to hit me, yell at me, _anything_. Just as long as he'll talk to me again.

I'm startled out of my reverie as I feel the water begin to cool. Without further hesitation I quickly shampoo my hair and lather a sponge with some body wash. Once I've taken care of that I brush my teeth and wander back into my room, the fluffy towel I grabbed earlier currently wrapped around my waist. Rummaging through my dresser drawer, I pull out a clean pair of boxers. Dropping the towel, I pull on the single article of clothing and return to the bathroom to hang by towel.

I flick off the light switch, moving back into my room and turning the bedside lamp on. Pulling back the sheets I make myself comfortable on the soft bed. I glance around at the boxes littering my bedroom floor. A week ago I decided I needed to be closer to Ritsuka, just incase he needs me. I managed to find a closer place, not only was the rent within my budget, but I have about twice as much space as what I had in my previous apartment.

Deciding my book to be a lost cause I turn the light off and slump down into the pillows and sheets. Of course, it takes mere seconds for my troubled mind to focus its thoughts back on Ritsuka again.

The young boy was making me worry, worry to the point that he became the only thing on my mind. His clothes were getting looser on his already thin frame, his eyes losing a significant amount of light to them, and his ears were always drooping except to give an annoyed twitch at the feel of my gaze.

I couldn't quite understand what made Ritsuka feel this way. So, Seimei might be alive, but is that reason to put yourself through his kind of pain? No matter how I tried to break it down, no matter how much thought I put into it, I just couldn't understand. Perhaps, the mind of a child is much more complex than we think.

I shook myself out of my thoughts, if I continued down this path, sleep would elude me this night. Closing my eyes I focus on staying calm, my attention on the little sheep jumping the fence in my mind. A few moments later I felt the influence of the sandman before my mind slipped into the wonderful bliss of dreams.

(Authors Note 2)  
Ice Lioness: Okay, so, what do you think so far? The story is kind of just taking off, this chapter is pretty much just focused on Soubi's thoughts on how Ritsuka is changing right now. The signs he sees and how he understands things.  
Seimei: Am I even in this story...?  
Ice Lioness: Uhh...we'll see...  
Seimei: ...  
Ice Lioness: Right! So, please leave a review, or a flame if you didn't like it.  
Seimei: The preview is below.

Chapter 2: Dance  
Soubi and Ritsuka get into an argument. Ritsuka cries and Soubi tries to soothe him.


	2. Chapter 2: Dance

Of Butterflies And Bumblebees  
Chapter 2: Dance  
By Ice Lioness  
Loveless Fan Fiction  
Rating: R (sexual situations)  
Status: Chapter 2 of ?? Posted  
Couple: Soubi x Ritsuka  
Summary: Soubi watches as Ritsuka slowly begins to change from a delicate boy, to a cold blood man and wonders how best to bring back the Ritsuka he fell in love with.  
Started: Monday, July 16, 2007 - 21:32  
Finished: Monday, July 16, 2007 - 23:59  
Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless nor any of its characters. Loveless is property of Tokyopop and Yun Kouga.  
(Authors Note)  
Ice Lioness: Woohoo! Chapter 2. Progress!  
Ritsuka: Meow? Have you never gotten to Chapter 2 before...?  
Ice Lioness: Well, yeah... Once...  
Ritsuka: Nani?!  
Ice Lioness: What can I say... I get distracted and never continue after Chapter 2 but I'm out to make this a completed series with at least ten chapters.  
Soubi: That's rather ambitious for you when you consider your record.  
Ice Lioness: ...I can change that rating you know...  
Soubi: I'll be quiet now.

Of Butterflies And Bumblebees - Chapter 2: Dance  
"You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war." - Napoleon Bonaparte

I stood silently outside, leaning against the brick entrance to Ritsuka's school. It's been about three weeks since he found out about Seimei's possible deception. That his elder brother may actually still be alive. Yesterday, I walked him home from school and vowed not to leave his side until he told me what was wrong.

I was thrown from my thoughts by the sound of my name. I saw a flood of students leaving the school, funny, I don't remember hearing the bell. Finally the source of the earlier voice is revealed to me as I spot Yuiko running towards me.

"Soubi-kun! Are you here to pick up Ritsuka-kun?" Yuiko asked me with a large smile spread across her face.

I felt my own lips tugging into a smile, her optimism contagious, "Of course."

Yuiko's ears give a slight twitch, her tail wagging a bit, "Is Ritsuka-kun going to your apartment? He mentioned you just moved. Yuiko wants to see."

"Well, I suppose it will all be up to Ritsuka," I watched her tail wag a little faster and I found her excitement over my new living quarters to be quite adorable.

Yuiko's smile seemed to widen, "Sensei is yelling at him for leaving his text book at home. He'll be a little late."

As I ponder her words a moment I think back to last night, as I sat down at his bedside I felt the tips of my fingers brush what felt like a book that may have been shoved under when Ritsuka dropped his belongings on the floor.

I look down at the younger female, her gaze now focused on the main door about twenty-feet away. Her gaze is soft, one I often recognized on face when she stares at Ritsuka. A part of me feels like I should regard her as a rival. She is close to Ritsuka in ways I don't think I ever will be, not with how things are going now. However, I can't find it in myself to hate the young girl.

Immediately her features seem to brighten and she swings her arm above her head, waving excitedly to someone. I lift my gaze to see my little sacrifice nearing us, hands stuffed in his pockets and his ears drooping lazily. Once he catches sight of me, his mood seems to sour even more so than it already is.

I watch him stop in front of us, deftly focusing on Yuiko's ramblings as he holds my gaze. Pain grips at my heart as I hear him speak, "What are you doing here?"

Keeping my composure, I reply smoothly, my smile still on my lips, "I'm here to walk you home, just as I said I would be."

"Go away. I can take care of myself." With that he turns away, walking in the direction of his home.

I think desperately, looking for a reason, any reason to make him come back, "Well, Yuiko said she wants to see my new apartment and she wants you to come with us. Don't you want to see my new home?"

Without turning, nor stopping he responds with a forceful, monotone, "No."

Yuiko's tail comes to a sudden stop and her ears droop a bit, "But Ritsuka-kun...!"

His response to her is the same as mine was, one simple word, "No."

I give the suddenly gloomy girl a gentle pat on the shoulder, "Another time, all right?"

It takes those few words to brighten her right back up, she looks up at me hopefully, her tail wagging once again, "Really?"

I force the smile to linger just a moment longer, and with a nod and gently turn her in the direction of her home, "Why don't you head on home and maybe tomorrow Ritsuka will be in a better mood."

With a happy nod and a wave good-bye she is gone, running down the sidewalk path towards her home.

Now that she had been taken care of, I look back to Ritsuka, just in time to see him round the corner. Without another thought I head after the boy, several long strides later brings be to roughly a step behind him. He doesn't speak and neither do I.

I watch his ears give their little irritated twitch that I have sadly become used to.

As we reach the front door he stops, pulling out his key. He unlocks the door and opens it, walking through without a word. I follow him in and lock the door behind me. I turn and follow him up the stairs, a few paces behind. He opens his bedroom door and walks inside, slamming it behind him before I have a chance to enter.

I momentarily ponder the idea of welcoming myself into the room and I let my hand drop away from the door knob. I turn and sit down with my back against the door, resigning myself to solitude for the moment.

My thoughts drifted to Ritsuka's behavior. Every day he was becoming more and more like Seimei, and for once in my life I felt the tight grip of fear in my heart. The cold exterior that Seimei demonstrated day in and day out is hardly becoming of Ritsuka, keeping his emotions bottled up if going to tear him apart.

As I sit silently, I have little sense of time as the minutes tick by. I focus on the sounds that occasionally come from Ritsuka's room. The squeak of his chair every time he moves, the sound of his pencil scraping against the paper, his footsteps as he moves about his room and the muttering that gives away his intent: the search for his missing book.

I sit there for what feels like days but I know in actuality is merely hours. Eventually, the scribbling stops, the squeaking comes less and less, and silence seems to blanket the room. As I listen and wait, worry beginning to worm its way into my heart. Just as I'm about to get up and check on my little catboy I hear is renewed footsteps and the sounds of drawers opening and closing.

I hear him move closer to the door and nearly fall backwards as it swings open. Annoyed hiss escapes him, and I know without looking at his face that he is angry, "What are you still doing here?"

I take a moment to compose myself before standing and turning to face the shorter male. His ears are twitching stiffly and his eyebrows are knit together in annoyance. I force down my sorrow at his words and respond with a smile, "I told you yesterday. I wont leave your side until you tell me what is bothering you."

Ritsuka narrows his gaze at me before pushing past me and heading for the bathroom, but this time I don't give him a chance to keep me out. Just as he is about to close the door I shove my arm in the way, allowing me to push back against him.

"Get out!" He starts to back away from me, putting some distance between us.

I close the door behind me, putting my index finger to my lips, "Do you want your mother to hear you?"

He immediately quiets though his annoyance shows through even more, symbolized by the standing hair on his tail. "I told you to get out. Why don't you just leave me alone?!"

I can't help but sigh, either he's ignoring me or he just isn't listening very well. I attempt to near him and wrap him in a hug, as my arms near his body he slaps them away, his clothes and towel nearly falling out of his arms. "I said to leave me alone!"

With no other way to quiet him, I lean in before he has time to react and cover his lips with my own. His eyes go wide and at first he merely stands there before he starts to struggle, shoving me away roughly, "Cut that out!"

"Then lower your voice or your mother is going to hear us." As much as I don't wish to defy him, I have to know. "Neither you or I will be leaving this room until you tell me what is bothering you."

He stares at me with narrowed eyes, I can tell he's weighing my words in his mind, trying to estimate just how much merit there is to what I said. He gives a quick glance to the door, to me, then back to the door again. He seems to relax, coming to the conclusion that I wasn't going to move. Not until he told me what I wanted to know.

I feel myself growing impatient with the silence, however, I force down the irritation and will myself to calm down. This could only be won by patience, "Well?" Okay, well, maybe a little persistance.

Ritsuka lowers his head before he speaks, avoiding my gaze, "It's you, Soubi! You're what's wrong!"

Those words shatter my resolve for the shortest of seconds and I am glad he is looking away, lest he see my moment of weakness and the pain that flashes in my eyes. I ponder his words silently, this is going to take a little tact if I wanted to get to the bottom of this. Steeling my resolve I focus my gaze on the mass of black hair across from me, "What about me is wrong?"

"I-I don't know!"

A raise a brow, "You don't know?"

"Yes!"

"You do? Then what is it?"

When I am meant by silence I narrow my eyes slightly, I grow tired of this little dance. I am no where closer to my goal and if anything, only more so confused. It's time for another plan, "Why are you lying Ritsuka?"

That immediately gets a reaction out of him, "I'm not lying!"

"Then what is wrong?"

Ritsuka lifts his head to look at me and I'm shocked to see is eyes shining with built up tears still clinging to his lashes, "Why weren't you honest with my Soubi? Why did _you_ lie? I trusted you."

I find myself falling silent, my emotions making a complete turn from feeling the betrayed, to the betrayer. Just as I open my mouth to respond, he speaks again and I immediately silence myself.

"B-but... The worst part of it all, if he really is alive, why hasn't he come back home? Doesn't he love me anymore?" Ritsuka sniffs a bit, the tears finally sliding down his cheeks in thin streams.

It was that, those few words that made my heart break. So that was it. It wasn't so much what Soubi said, but rather, it was the fact that Seimei wasn't here.

With Ritsuka.

I chanced a hug once again, this time he didn't fight it, too wrapped up in his grief. I gently stroked his back, relieved when I felt his thin arms around my waist, his clothes and towel now a forgotten heap on the ground.

A few moments later he releases me and pulls away, staring up at me with blood shot eyes. I give him a soft, reassuring smile and lift my hand to gently pat his head, musing his hair a bit, "Take your shower. I'll walk you home tomorrow, too." I give his forehead a parting kiss and pull my hand away.

With that I turn and leave, slipping into his room then using my usual exit. I hop down from the open window to land gracefully on the sidewalk. This was good, he was opening up to him. This was definite progress.

With a smile I continue on the street, heading back to my apartment. Yeah, things will be getting better now.

(Authors Note 2)  
Ice Lioness: Yahoo! Second chapter is complete. That's two chapters in one days folks, that's just amazing for me.  
Soubi: Yes. Quite.  
Ritsuka: I cried...  
Ice Lioness: Yes...?  
Ritsuka: Why?  
Ice Lioness: ...  
Ritsuka: ...  
Soubi: Right. Anyway... Please review, flames are welcome. Scroll on down for the preview and for the first time ever, review responses.

Chapter 3: Healing  
Now that Soubi has discovered what is on Ritsuka's mind, it's time for him to begin the process of getting his old Ritsuka back.

Review Responses:  
Vedevria: Thank you so much! Your review made me just hop up and start on this chapter right away. Now, to answer your questions. Yes, this story will be purely in Soubi's point of view. And yes again, this story takes place just after volume five. Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last.


	3. Chapter 3: Healing

Of Butterflies And Bumblebees  
Chapter 3: Healing  
By Ice Lioness  
Loveless Fan Fiction  
Rating: R (sexual situations)  
Status: Chapter 3 of ?? Posted  
Couple: Soubi x Ritsuka  
Summary: Soubi watches as Ritsuka slowly begins to change from a delicate boy, to a cold blood man and wonders how best to bring back the Ritsuka he fell in love with.  
Started: Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 17:20  
Finished: Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 23:11  
Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless nor any of its characters. Loveless is property of Tokyopop and Yun Kouga.  
(Authors Note)  
Ice Lioness: Yay! We've made it to Chapter 3! Does a dance.  
Soubi: Congratulations. Hell has officially frozen over.  
Ice Lioness: What have I told you about that rating?  
Soubi: ...  
Ice Lioness: Heh heh.  
Ritsuka: Meow? What are you guys talking about?  
Soubi: Oh, Ritsuka. I didn't see you standing there.  
Ritsuka: Well? Soubi?  
Soubi: Wonderful weather, isn't it?  
Ritsuka: ...  
Ice Lioness: Right! On to the story!

Of Butterflies And Bumblebees - Chapter 3: Healing  
"You know why big brothers are born first? To protect the little ones that come after them." - Ichigo, Bleach

I turned my head to look over at Ritsuka as we sat in my apartment. He was chatting away with Yayoi about some new game they had started playing on the computer and Yuiko seemed to merely content herself with listening to the conversation even though she had no idea what they were talking about.

It's been a little over a month since Ritsuka broke down into tears and confessed as to what was upsetting him. Since then he's gone back to smiling a bit more as well as hanging around with his friends again. Though, he has yet to bring up the subject again and I fear their just might be more he's holding back.

I idly tap my pencil against the art pad in my hand. I seem to have stumbled into a bit of artists block since my teacher at the University made our final for the semester known. When he handed it out to us I figured it would be easy, choose the person closest to us and paint a picture of them in the way that you see them. As soon as I read the paper the answers fit into place. The closest person to me was Ritsuka. He was easy to anger, fun to tease, and the kind of person that seemed to draw others to him, even if he didn't want to attention. However, as I pulled out my drawing pad a week ago to get started on the sketch, I came to a stand still.

How did I see him?

Sure, I knew what he was like and his behavior, but how did all of that combined together make Ritsuka. Make him the way I see him.

I was suddenly brought from my thoughts as Ritsuka and his friends were piled around me, looking at the paper, blank save for the solitary dot I was impression was permanently dug into the paper.

The first one to speak was Yayoi, "Oi, what are you doing? Don't tell me you're calling that dot art." I never really liked him.

Before I can speak, Ritsuka turns to look at his cat eared friend, "Of course not, couldn't you see he was thinking of _what_ to draw." I knew there was a reason I loved this boy.

Now, it seems to be Yuiko's turn to speak, "So what are you gonna draw?"

I pause before I answer, waiting to see if either of the other two are going to speak. Three pairs of curious eyes blink up at me and I know it's finally my queue, "I'm working on the final for my art class."

Yuiko's ears twitch before she responds, "Is the semester almost over?"

"No. Our teacher assigned us a take home final. We have ten weeks to complete the project and turn it in for what will be thirty percent of our grade. We have to us aspects of what we've learned to complete it." I rest the art pad in my lap, deciding I'm not about to get any work done right now.

This seems to peak Yuiko's interest further, "So, what's the project?"

I flip a few pages in the drawing pad then pull out a blue sheet of paper, handing it to her, "We have to choose the person we are closest to and do a painting reflecting how we see them."

As Yuiko looks over the paper, Yayoi stands over her shoulder so he can read it as well and out of the corner of my eye I see Ritsuka's ears peak up. Seems this assignment has peaked his interest as well.

Ritsuka inches closer to me, staring curiously at the blue sheet, "Who are you gonna paint?"

Yuiko giggles, looking up at us, "Why, Ritsuka-kun, of course." While she's busy talking, the catboy behind her grabs the paper to give it a closer look.

Ritsuka's cheek brighten with a light shade of pink, his embarrassment causing him to scrunch his nose, "Don't be stupid. Why would be want to paint me. He'd probably paint Kio or even Se..."

Ritsuka falls silent after that, the blush fading as well as the embarrassment filled anger. Before a spectacle can be made of this, I interject, "Why wouldn't I want to do a painting of you, Ritsuka?"

Ritsuka looks up at me with a weird look I don't quite understand, nor do I like. I grin and lean over to nuzzle his cheek, "After all Ritsuka, why wouldn't I want to draw the one I love?"

This display seems to bring out a storm of giggles from the girl sitting beside us and a disturbed look to the shorter male standing behind her.

I feel Ritsuka's hands on my chest as he pushes me away, his embarrassment and blush coming back with a vengeance, "Cut that out Soubi!"

I merely laugh, leaning back against the front of the couch. Yuiko only continues to giggle and Yayoi merely shakes his head, offering back the paper.

The subject drops as the topic of food comes up. I close my sketch book and set it aside along with my pencil. Time for dinner it seems.

The rest of the evening passes quickly, after dinner we settled on playing a few card games before the teens erupted in a series of yawns. Yayoi offered to walk Yuiko home and after a round of quick goodbyes, they're out the door.

I turn to look at Ritsuka, the young catboy half asleep on my couch. I move to the couch and take a seat beside the dark haired boy, "Shouldn't you get home before your mother starts looking for you?"

Ritsuka cuddles into the couch, resting his head on the arm rest of the couch, "She wont notice."

I laugh and lean over him, there's one sure fire way to get Ritsuka up and moving, "Well, you are more than welcome to stay here." I complete my statement with a little nibble on his sensitive cat ears.

"Ack! Soubi!" Within seconds he springs up and nearly catapults off the couch, the standing on his tail, "Don't do that!"

I merely laugh, expecting him to storm out but I'm rather shocked when me moves and sits back on the opposite side of the couch, curls into a ball at the farthest corner from me, "I don't wanna go back..."

I barely missed his soft spoken words, but I managed to catch it. I slid over to sit beside Ritsuka, gently stroking his back, "What's wrong, Ritsuka? Is it your mother...? Or is it Seimei?"

I feel Ritsuka stiffen at the sound of his dead brothers name, "She said she saw Seimei, that he came there and he talked to her and now she ignores me... The only time she pays me any attention is to tell me if...if I wasn't there, Seimei would be home..."

I feel hate for his mother bubbling up in me, how could someone treat there own child like that. Gently I stroke his back and pull the blanket off the back of the couch to drape it over him, "You can sleep here tonight Ritsuka, I'll lend you some clothes to sleep in."

Ritsuka seems to nod dejectedly and I come to the realization that this has come to affect Ritsuka rather harshly and to put it simply, it scares me. To see my little feline in such a state is unheard of and the only thing I want is to see him angry and flustered as I'm so used to. _Anything._ Just not like this.

I stand and walk into my room, grabbing a pair of boxers and a shirt from the dresser I bring them to the bathroom. Maybe a shower will do him good. I grab a clean towel from my room and add it to the clothes in the bathroom. Turning the water on I let it run for a while as I get the little catboy on my couch.

Sure enough, I return to him just as I left him. Has he been like this every night? Has he been this depressed for the past month and I just haven't noticed? I can't help but think that I've failed as his fighter when I can't even seem to fight against a supposed ghost.

I move over to Ritsuka and pull him to his feet as I lead him over to the shower, giving him a gentle nudge towards the open door, "Go ahead and take a shower to relax your muscles. I'll wait in the living room."

Ritsuka nods and walks into the small room, closing the door behind him. Within moments I can hear the curtain being drawn back, a sign that he must be in the shower now. I take this moment to change, I can shower in the morning. My first class isn't until late afternoon anyway. Pulling on some boxers and a pair of drawstring pants I move into the living room and take a seat on the couch. I look around for something to keep me busy until Ritsuka is done in the shower.

I notice my drawing pad on the table and decide to attempt the draft for my project again. I flip open the cover and grab my pencil. Taking a moment to consider what to apply to the paper I then just let my hand guide the pencil, deciding not to think. The lead begins to mark on the white pages, leaving behind a multitude of lines. As I continue to move the pencil across the pad I notice shape coming to the image.

It's a simple sketch of what appears to be Ritsuka, his ears drawn back and tears cascading down his face. I pull the pencil away and gaze down at the image and it feels... _wrong_. I close the pad of paper with a sigh and look up, blinking slowly.

There stands Ritsuka in the doorway, hair still dripping from his shower. How long has he been standing there, I wonder? As I continue to gaze at the cat-eared boy a feeling of warmth starts to cascade through me. He looks absolutely delectable.

His hair is still soaked with water, causing his ears to get weighed down and the adorable appendages to sag against his head. The shirt and boxers are obviously too large for his smaller frame and it only makes that heat I feel even stronger. The shirt droops so you can see a pale shoulder and one of his hands clutches the waistband of the boxers through the shirt. The towel sits draped over his other arm and he looks at me somewhat shyly it seems.

I rest the pad on the table with my pencil before I stand and move to the young boy. I take the towel and drop it over his head, hearing a short 'oof' before he's silent.

"You'll catch a cold if you leave your hair that wet," I then proceed to rub his head with the towel, tousling his hair underneath so I can dry it. He moves his arms to try and stop me then gives a short yelp and grabs for the boxers. I laugh and pull the towel away, revealing a very fluffy and very flushed Ritsuka. Swiftly moving around him I reach for his tail, his body going ridged as I rub the towel across the fur covered appendage. Interesting.

I release his tail then smile, "There. Much better." I laugh as he glares at me, attempting to be intimidating though the red blush across his cheeks takes away from that. I leave him standing there to hang the towel across the pole around the shower. Seeing his clothes on the floor I reach down and give them a quick hand washing. I hang them beside the towel before taking care of my basic hygiene.

Once done I shut off the light and walk out of the bathroom. I make my way into the living room to spot Ritsuka on the couch, already fast asleep with his head on his arm and the blanket draped over his body. I walk over and gently brush my hand over the top of his head, watching in amusement as he scrunches his nose in his sleep. Leaning down, I place a tender kiss to his forehead before turning off the light, "Good night, Ritsuka."

With a smile I check the locks on the door, making sure all is well and the windows are secure I move into my own room and pull the covers back to climb between the sheets. I remove my glasses and rest them on the night stand beside the bed before resting my head on the pillow. With Ritsuka in the next room I find it easy to fall asleep and moments later I'm blissfully in the land of dreams.

I blink awake to feel something pressing up against me. Forcing my eyes to focus I read the clock, it's only been three hours since I went to sleep. I feel that same movement that awoke me and I look down to see a mass of dark hair and two fluffy cats ears poking out from under the sheet. I lift my arm, causing the sheet to rise, allowing me to catch sight of my intruder.

There lies Ritsuka, his forehead pressing against my chest as he sleeps, I can feel one of his arms wedged between us and the other curled up so his hand rests under his chin. His nose scrunches and he gives a whine of protest. His hand deftly reaches up and grabs the sheet, tugging it back down so it covers him. I smile and close my eyes once again, letting my arm drape around the boys shoulders to hold him close. Yes, having him near definitely helps with sleeping.

(Authors Note 2)  
Ice Lioness: Woot! It is finished! Will wonders never cease?  
Soubi: Indeed.  
Ice Lioness: I apologize if they seemed out of character, I'm doing my best to make sure they stick to their usual personalities.  
Soubi: I think you are doing very well.  
Ice Lioness: You're just trying to suck up so I don't change the rating...  
Soubi: Oh heavens no. I wouldn't dream of it.  
Ice Lioness: Right...  
Ritsuka: What are you guys talking about?!  
Soubi: Preview and review responses below. As usual, please review, flames are welcome.  
Ritsuka: Soubi!

Chapter 4: Demon  
Just as it seems like Ritsuka is beginning to heal from his broken heart over Seimei's neglect he meets his brother once again. Will he have to say goodbye to Soubi? Or will he come to terms with the side of his brother he never knew?

Review Responses:  
Vicious Cabaret: Of course it doesn't! Thanks for the review!  
Vedevria: Thank you once again. I'm glad you like the way I portray the characters. I hope this chapter meets your expectations. Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4: Demon

Of Butterflies And Bumblebees  
Chapter 4: Demon  
By Ice Lioness  
Loveless Fan Fiction  
Rating: R (sexual situations)  
Status: Chapter 4 of ?? Posted  
Couple: Soubi x Ritsuka  
Summary: Soubi watches as Ritsuka slowly begins to change from a delicate boy, to a cold blood man and wonders how best to bring back the Ritsuka he fell in love with.  
Started: Tuesday, September 25, 2007 - 12:42  
Finished: Monday, November 5, 2007 - 19:53  
Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless nor any of its characters. Loveless is property of Tokyopop and Yun Kouga.  
(Authors Note)  
Ice Lioness: It's amazing! We've made it to Chapter 4!  
Yuiko: Yay!  
Ritsuka: ...I still don't understand what's going on...  
Ice Lioness: Well, I think the story is moving along nicely. We still have quite a few chapters to go, but it's all coming together. Originally I was going to have done a large time skip, about four years when the story came to living up to its rating but I settled on keeping the pace instead. Which means that yes, Ritsuka will be twelve or thirteen, and yes, this will be shota. The lemon portion of that future chapter will be posted somewhere else, I have yet to decide where exactly but I'll post it in the author's note of that particular chapter.  
Ritsuka: What's so special about a lemon that it gets its own chapter? I thought this was a Loveless fan fiction...  
Soubi: ...  
Ice Lioness: ...  
Ritsuka: Ano... Soubi? Why are you grinning like that?  
Ice Lioness: I think we better move on...  
Yuiko: Hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

Of Butterflies And Bumblebees - Chapter 4: Demon  
"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people." - Arthur Schopenhauer

I turn my head to look at the sketches covering my desk then look back to the canvas sitting in front of me. The due date of my art project draws nearer and I have yet to even begin my masterpiece. Over the last few weeks I had drawn several sketches of Ritsuka. Yet, as I stare at each of them, I still feel like I'm missing what this project is all about. I don't understand what the teacher wants from us. Draw the person as we see them?

Ritsuka is Ritsuka. I don't see him as anyone else. However, as I stare at these drawings, I just know there is something more here.

With a sigh I give up on the attempt and lay the piece of charcoal down. I calmly wipe my fingers free of the black substance and stand, moving into the kitchen for a glass of water. Only three and a half weeks left before I have to turn in a finished piece and I don't even have the rough sketch done.

I glance at the clock an- Damnit! I was supposed to meet Ritsuka at his school half an hour ago to pick him up. I quickly finish the contents of the glass and set it in the sink before I rush into my room and change. Within minutes I have the door locked and I'm jogging down the street. After ten minutes, nearly being run over by two cars, and several dodged people later, I arrive at the school to find no Ritsuka. I glance around quickly, hoping to see him somewhere on the grounds. Did I pass him in my rush to get to the school?

I spot Yuiko and make a beeline towards her. She spots me before I reach her and her face lights up as she abandons Yayoi in my favor.

"Soubi-kun! What are you doing here?" She looks up at me with her cute innocent eyes and if I had the time to smile I would, but other, more pressing matters are on my mind. Like where Ritsuka is.

"Have you seen Ritsuka?" I try to submerge the panic rising in my voice and I have to congratulate myself on that task.

Yuiko tilts her head at me then points in a direction opposite the direction I came from, "Yeah, he went down that way. He saw something and just started running."

I barely stop long enough to give her a short thank you before running off in the specified direction. Was it Zeroes? Could it be someone from Septimal Moon? Could it be...? I stop that train of thought with a shake of my head. No. It wouldn't be him.

I run into the nearby park and begin to jog through it, dodging trees and people alike as I look for a familiar set of ears. I hear two arguing voices off to my right and decide to give it a closer investigation. I move towards a few trees, oddly placed close together. Quickly I distinguish Ritsuka's voice and my feet move all that much faster. I come to a stop between two trees and my heart nearly stops.

Standing no more than three feet away from me is a tearful Ritsuka. That isn't the shocking part. It's the person he's facing that causes such a heart stopping reaction. Standing there, a smirk on his face and a black mane, still complete with ears, is none other than Ritsuka's brother and my old master.

Seimei.

"I thought you were dead... They found your body, how can you be here...?" Ritsuka's tear filled words assault my ears and my heart goes out to the boy.

The smirk on Seimei's face causes a frown to mar my features, what is he planning?

"Why, I crawled back from the dead so I could come back to mother. Don't think for even a second you could try to replace me." Seimei's words cause Ritsuka's eyes to widen as my own in turn narrow. Something definitely isn't right.

Ritsuka's head shakes frantically and I don't know if it is in attempt to hold his tears back or respond to Seimei's accusation, perhaps, it's a little of both, "N-no! I would never try to replace you!"

A cold, bitter laugh erupts from Seimei's throat and I can't help but cringe. The elder man sets his eyes once more on Ritsuka and a grin plasters itself across his face, "No, you didn't replace me, because you couldn't. You'll never measure up to me. You know as well as I that mother favors me over you."

I wait for Ritsuka to retort but he says nothing as the tears slowly begin to trickle down his cheeks. Why isn't he defending himself?

Seimei seems to take this as a sign to continue his taunts and speaks once more, "Mother would be so excited if I returned, she'd probably forget all about you. All about the pitiful second son she had." He laughs once more and my gaze centers on Ritsuka.

The broken look on his face is the last straw for me and I walk from my hiding place, doing nothing to hide my presence any longer, eager to make myself known if it'll save Ritsuka from this humiliation. Ritsuka seems shocked to see me, though Seimei smirk becomes ever more present upon his face, "Oh my, my. If it isn't Soubi."

I remain silent for the moment, I don't really know what to say to him, nor do I know how to address him. The sniffles behind me draw my attention and I glance behind to see Ritsuka frantically trying to get his composure together. My eyes narrow as they focus once more on Seimei, my mouth opens as I ready to open a battle but I'm cut off by the elder Aoyagi boy with a dark chuckle, "Now, now, Soubi. It's much too early in the game for that."

With that he turns and starts to walk off, his black tail swaying behind him, "Until next time, _little brother_."

He disappears behind the trees and I stare at the spot he once stood in, my mouth sliding closed. After a few minutes I hear a small hiccup and turn. Ritsuka stands there, ears and tail drooping, his eyes red, and tear stains on his cheeks.

I take the short few steps towards the younger boy and wrap my arms around his form. For a few moments we remain still, till I feel his small hands knotting in my shirt. I tighten my hold on him and he struggles after a few moments, the usual fire lighting in his eyes, "Stop smothering me."

I can't help but smile, my arms moving so my hands rest on his shoulders, "Of course." My smile widens and I take the boys bag off his shoulder, slipping it onto my own before lifting his small body into my arms. He blushes and struggles, trying to escape my grasp.

"Soubi!"

I merely laugh, doing my best to hold the cat-eared boy, "I'll drop you if you don't stay still."

That seems to do the trick and he stops moving, though the blush darkens a bit, "Put me down."

I only smile and start to head out of the park, "Where would you like to go?"

He's silent for a long moment so as we reach the edge of the trees I stop, looking down at Ritsuka. He just seems to pout before muttering under his breath, "Home."

My smile fades and I give a nod. The thought of returning him to his mothers clutches unnerves me, but, I'm only a fighter. What right have I to argue? My feet turn and begin the trek to the Aoyagi household.

Ritsuka looks around a bit before looking up at me with a look of confusion on his face. I smile and answer his unspoken question, "I'm taking you back to your mother."

He shakes his head and looks back up at me with what appears to be irritation and...embarrassment...? His gaze turns away as he speaks and the blush on his face darkens, "No. I want to go _home_."

I stand there for a long moment, unable to believe my ears. Did I just hear what I think I heard out of him? The smile widens across my lips and I nod, turning in the direction of my apartment. He seems to relax at this though he no longer looks me in the eye. Sometimes he's just so cute. I lean down and brush my lips against his, causing the boy to tense in my arms and for him to struggle against my chest, "Hey! Put me down!"

I laugh and this time comply, gently setting the boy on his feet. Ritsuka, blushing and all, reaches up to take the bag from me then starts to walk off. I smile, leading the boy away from his demon and to the safety of my home.

Maybe, just maybe, everything will be all right.

(Authors Note 2)  
Ice Lioness: All right. That's the end of that chapter. Didn't really go anywhere but I really wanted to put something up so. Here it is. Sorry it's also a bit shorter than the last two but I promise to make up for it with the next chapter.  
Ritsuka: And when do you plan on putting that one out...?  
Ice Lioness: Hush you. Anyway, with any luck I'll have it out sometime in the next two days or by the end of the week. I'll try to get the next one out faster.  
Soubi: Preview and review responses are below. Please review and flames are accepted. Thank you.

Chapter 5: Pastels  
Ritsuka and Soubi get to spend a quiet weekend at home and we get a bit of a dip into Soubi's thoughts on Ritsuka.

Review Responses:  
Vicious Cabaret: Thank you for your support and don't worry, both you and Soubi will get your wish, I wont change the rating. X3  
Deshera: Thank you!  
sasuke5010: Thank you! Hope you enjoy it.  
Vanessa: Aww, very appreciated. Thank you!  
Panicchannel: Thank you and I will!  
Sonya4ever: lmao, that's great. I'm sure you're portraying the characters just fine. Let me know when you post it, I'd love to read it. Also, lemons can be a bit tricky, but, as they say, practice makes perfect. X3  
dragonlance: Thank you very much, I do my best with each story and while I have a bit of difficulty with first person, I think it's going along quite good, as well.


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